Why I never compliment a beautiful woman unless…

Born like this

A girl who is born with good looks gets treated differently from the girls who are born with what we call either, average society standards or below standard looks. A girl with good looks is given more attention, particularly from guys, based simply on her looks. Because of this, guys want to do anything possible to get her. They value her and see her as a perfect life time partner, basing this decision simply on her looks.

Her looks intimidates the other girls. This makes the rest of them feel that good looks hold more value and just maybe, makes you superior than the rest. You see this in the manner in which they act towards her, complimenting her on her looks, not forgetting how the men do this oh so regularly. Because of these compliments, she starts to believe that she is valuable, which I believe is just delusional!

The most common compliment a girl with good looks gets is: you’re “beautiful“. And my problem lies in this compliment, because the question now becomes, what is beauty? And is beauty really based on good looks? And what’s the difference between beauty and being pretty?

This is how I define pretty:
Women who are born with good looks and are attractive without truly being beautiful.
This is how I define beauty:
a combination of principles and qualities that sum up her true character, such as kindness, humility, honesty and integrity…how she carries herself internally and externally.

Based on these two definitions, i personally don’t compliment a very good looking woman on her looks, simply because she was born with these looks. She didn’t have to work hard for it, just as a child receiving inheritance from her rich parents. And it amazes me on how we can put value on something that happens by default, not molded by hard work.

Unlike character, where I believe that…herein lies a woman’s beauty. This is something I can complement a woman on, because a lot of time and dedication was put in the development of her character, and this is what is valuable. Yes, we all want a woman who looks good, and is just eye-catching, but prettiness is a preference of choice.

I do not compliment a good looking woman by telling her she is beautiful unless…I do so witnessing her character. If she is blessed with good looks then pretty she is.


Beauty is truly shaped from the inside and presented out through, how a woman treats other people in small or big positions, from security guards, waiters to people of status. The woman who possesses beauty possesses it holistically, that is why she will pamper herself to look good, even if she may or may not have been born with good looks. But, she makes an effort to look good. Therefore there is a big difference between:
1) a girl with good looks and
2) a beautiful girl that’s looking good.

My point is that it’s possible to have a woman born with good looks to be beautiful, but it’s not her looks that makes her beautiful. The character of a women is what we should complement women on, born with good looks or not, because here within lies her beauty!!


Goal vs Plan

So many people have these to words and their definitions mixed up. So many people keep changing their goals in life and they think it’s normal because it’s plan B. So il like to clear this up.

A goal is the position u want to see yourself, your company or anything else you want to achieve in the future. A plan is the route you think u can take to get there. I’m defining these two words because I see people who each year are doing something completely different and say “that didn’t work out, I’m doing plan b now”. This is not plan b, this is actually changing your goal. Unless that person goal was solely making money, then it’s a different story, but most people have a goal because they would like to change something and make money in the process. So the goal is more than just making money, but when plan A doesn’t work, they change their goal entirely and start doing something else.
A goal for me never changes, your plan which is the route u want to take changes, but never the goal. There are a lot of people who became successful, and one thing u find was that they had plan A-z to achieve in one goal they believed in.

I also believe your goal must be in line with your purpose in life, the change you want to contribute to the world, this way, your goal never changes but the plan only can keep changing.
I’d also like to say that Plan A is suppose to suck, because this is the 1st plan u coming up with, and there is a lot u don’t know and plan A fails so u can learn and see what u can do better in plan b.

When u have a goal to travel to cape town and your plan is to take a plane there, you get to the airport they tell u planes are delayed for 3days. But they have planes to Durban. Do u take flights to Durban or do you turn around and look for another route to get to cape town? Maybe a bus or taxi? Yes that might of not been the plan, and the bus will take longer and will be uncomfortable, especially in this heat, but this is what it takes to get to cape town. This is you sticking to the goal to reach cape town, just taking a different plan. But other people take flights to Durban and then say it’s plan b, but it’s actually a different goal/destination entirely.

In closing I just want to say this: when you choose a goal, don’t let your plan A determine your decision to keep pushing. Plan A is not suppose to work, it’s suppose to begin the process of you learning to equipped yourself one day to have the best plan to reach your goal. So learn from every plan but keep to one goal that is in line with the your purpose to change the world and no matter what and how many times the plan changes never give up!!image

The flawed perception of Christians judging others

Through my research about smoking the bible does not speak about smoking directly and in my finding a lot of other people who try to justify why smoking is a sin by using verses but are not really addressing the matter only grasping at straws to say the least however the most common verses found that address the issue at hand are:

  • (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
  • (1 Corinthians 3:17) If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.

The Bible also says a sin is a sin. And what is the sin from the teachings? If you do not take care of your body which is the temple of God it’s deemed as a sin. In other words if you self-inflict or purposely harm your body is means you are deliberately not taking care of your body, hence its deemed as a sin.

That is why smoking is view as being a sin. People may have all the reasons to why they smoke or they know someone who lived along time before dying, but it takes no rocket scientist to know smoking is harmful to the body. The most common result of smoking is lung cancer, but there are other diseases associated with smoking like asthma, emphysema, and birth defects. One man said “Tobacco is a slow but merciless killer that first weakens its victim and them carefully destroys their lives all the while giving their prey a murderous pleasure.” Yet I am not talking about just Tabaco but also “weed” as we nick name it.

I always say people will always justify and give enough reason to what they want to do even if it’s wrong. Now even if this may seem like I’m writing about condemning smoking it’s not and here’s why.

The bible does not speak about smoking but the bible speaks about taking care of your body as it is the temple of God. Anything self-inflicted or purposely ignored leading to harming your body is considered as not taking care of your body. I say “purposely ignored” meaning you knew you can do something about it but choose not to, you chose to ignore it and this is also known as neglect.

Let’s speak about neglecting first. Doctors say more than 70% of diseases treated are due to neglect. People who choose to neglect a healthy life style. And for the sake of keeping this short I am not going to go into what a healthy life style is, I’m sure we have learnt this in primary school. The point here is most diseases doctors deal with is based on the fact that we neglect to live a healthy lifestyle. We all know we have to find a way to exercise regularly but many people ignore this fact and many diseases are the result of this. We all know we are supposed to eat right and drink water more than anything but we choose to ignore this and do what we want and find pleasure in. Is this not taking care of your body? When you ignore the things that can take care of your body and the result of that is diseases? And how is that different to a smoker?

Smoking is a sin because it’s self-inflicted. You are deliberately harming your body and you are not stopping yourself yet still continuing. But what about the person who eats more fast foods like MacDonald’s and KFC than vegetables? The person who drink Coca cola, Fanta and flavored water than still water? A bad diet leads to multiple diseases just like smoking leads to lung cancer and other diseases. How a person who deliberately inflicts themselves with a bad diet, shoving unhealthy food and liquid down their throats and drinking unhealthy beverages and failing to exercise to keep in shape any different or better than a smoker or an alcoholic? How many Christians live a unhealthy lifestyle vs Christians smokers and alcoholics?

As long as we do not take care of our bodies we have no right to judge a smoker or alcoholic because we are one in the same. The sin is not in smoking? But in the neglecting or self-infliction towards harming the temple of God, that is a sin according to the bible or at least according to the bases of why smoking is wrong in the first place. #don’t be quit to Judge, work more on yourself than others (Mathew 7 verse 7)

From one Christian to another

My thoughs, opinions, perceptions and growing understanding of life